Dec 11, Touchstone Pictures 1. Dating as a queer woman presents a unique set of issues. The real key to a successful relationship with a bisexual girl, of course, is to focus less on the bisexuality and more on the relationship. Being bi usually means having the capacity to both love and feel sexual desire for more than one gender. That is, they didn't make one. Sedgwick, along with other scholars, encouraged people to think about sexuality on a spectrum and abandon the idea that gender identity exists within binaries, such as being male and female. You really haven't. If her bisexuality is something that she wishes to keep to herself, then telling even the closest of friends about it is not acceptable, and she will not thank you for making it known to even the most discreet of acquaintances. Identity politics — the ways in which specific ideas and interests surrounding a particular group are formed — are a vital part of the queer experience and the LGBTQ community. If you're still concerned about dating a bisexual, it may be more a reflection of you than it is of them. If she has been active, and you know this, then you may want to discuss it with her, just to get a little clarity and understanding on the fact. They just happen to be attracted to both sexes. We're not going to be defined by our relationship with you. The gay community and bisexuals getting lumped into that gets a bad rap for being particularly oversexed. Perhaps they've felt shy, or picky, or the opportunity has simply never arisen. Bisexuals made the same choice that heterosexuals made. You should not try to be more macho or more feminine.