That brings us to Enchanted , a story about an animated Disney princess named Giselle from "Andalasia" being transported to modern-day, live-action New York. Just by virtue of being a normal human being, Nancy is going to destroy all that the first time she and Prince Edward have anything other than missionary sex for anything other than the purpose of having children. That person would be worshiped, killed, or both. Not just adding a couple of toys and positions, but revealing that what we know of sex is only about 5 percent of the possible experience. It's all about smitten gentlemen and dates on horseback, not animal lust. This is not the kind of thing a man keeps secret. The first time she and Prince Edward get the tiniest bit adventurous in the bedroom, some talking, masturbating rabbit is going to see it through an open window and lose its goddamned mind. Continue Reading Below Continue Reading Below Advertisement She is from a universe as it would be imagined by a child or a child-friendly corporation -- one in which soft kisses are as wild as romance gets. Well, they do now! Continue Reading Below Advertisement So, as tends to happen in fish-out-of-water stories, shenanigans ensue. Hell, even if he tried, at any given time they're surrounded by a herd of intelligent squirrels, deer, and birds. Walt Disney Studios Which apparently shrinks your eyes by like 50 percent. If they don't explode in a cloud of glitter and pixie dust, they're going to run and tell everyone they can about the confusingly erotic wrestling match they just witnessed. The credits roll, everyone is happy, and Andalasia is about to be thrown into utter social turmoil. Couples get married and then children appear -- if they have sex at all versus some cartoon stork bullshit , it's certainly not a big deal, considering no one mentions it. Walt Disney Studios One thing that will not exist: Follow us on Facebook , and we'll follow you everywhere.